The Black Keys return to Rexall Place May 12

In case you missed The Black Keys in June, the Ohio alt-rock duo will return to alt-rock you a second time at Rexall Place on Saturday, May 12, with the Arctic Monkeys in support. Tickets go on sale Friday.

And in case you’re still wondering who the hell the Black Keys are, at least know that they are no fans of Nickelback. In the latest issue of Rolling Stone, Patrick Carney bashed Alberta’s favourite hoser-rock band. It’s worth quoting a big chunk of his rant (reader discretion is advised): “Rock & roll is dying because people became OK with Nickelback being the biggest band in the world. So they became OK with the idea that the biggest rock band in the world is always going to be shit – therefore you should never try to be the biggest rock band in the world. Fuck that! Rock & roll is the music I feel the most passionately about, and I don’t like to see it fucking ruined and spoon-fed down our throats in this watered-down, post-grunge crap, horrendous shit. When people start lumping us into that kind of shit, it’s like, ‘Fuck you,’ honestly.”

Feud on, boys!

Like, hey four-eyes, don’t beat up our hometown Albertan brothers – that’s our job, Mr. Black Stripes Franz Ferdinand retro retread. Seriously, let’s get off the Nickebashing Bandwagon, shall we? It’s come to the point that the media just seizes on any anti-Nickelback quote like cases of sniffles during the SARS hysteria, just because it’s fun and generates “content.”

Where we were? Oh, yeah, The Black Keys is back so soon. Let’s hope play longer than the 80 minutes they played last time. They’d better, since they have new material from their new album fresh off the presses: El Camino, named for the ridiculous car-pick-up truck hybrid that became a running joke in the automobile industry. You certainly wouldn’t want that to happen in the music industry, would we? You’d never catch Nickelback rolling in one of those turkey-wagons. Their ride would probably be a souped-up Trans Am from the ‘80s – perhaps while listening to something like this: