HOCKEY: In the Box with Brent & Craig
Hype Springs Eternal
We’re back, and this time – with a sponsor! In The Box’s filthy reviews of Oilers play is now brought to you by the fine folks at Home & Away – opening soon in the old Mercer Tavern.
As per tradition, Craig & Brent get a bunch of musician friends and local celebs to help write the first column mostly because they’re lazy, but more so because they want to hear who’s right and who’s wrong about what will happen to your Edmonton Oilers this year. With the season kicking off tonight, it’s time to place your bets!
Stanley Cup? Presidents Trophy? Not letting in the first shot on goal?
We’re full of hope!
Craig Douglas
It’s absolute folly to try and predict anything within this league, but especially when it pertains to the Oilers. There’s a reasonable chance that they could win their division for the first time in forever, but there’s likely a nearly equal chance that the defense and goaltending could implode so badly that they finish third or fourth and out of the playoffs entirely. I’ll make some relatively simple predictions and say that they finish no lower than second in the Pacific, McDavid needs to purchase another extra large trophy case, Hyman and Ryan become fan favorites, and Koskinen bounces back to have a decent year and stops letting in the first shot of every game and driving me fucking crazy.
Robb Angus – Vocalist for the Dungarees
Draisaitl – will once again have 30+ games where I scream at him endlessly to stop turning it over & skate harder, all while getting 3 assists that I didn’t notice. Shame on me, really…..shame on me.
Hyman – will score 25 goals, even though he looks like that one clean guy who works at Kal-Tire (Every location has one).
Warren Foegele – while his name sounds like he was definitely a founding member of Steely Dan, he won’t complain about doing the Dirty Work, scoring 15 goals.
Evan Bouchard – will be closely paired with veteran Slater Koekkoek for 2021. They won’t be as closely paired as Bouchard’s eyes, but it will still be good for the young Dman. 18 goals and a lot of PP time in blowout games.
Oilers: will finish 2nd in the division behind Las Vegas, and will win 2 playoff rounds. At least.
Darrek Anderson – Brigadiers String Band
With some solid offseason upgrades to the lineup the Oilers now have the depth required to be a legit contender in 21-22. Fans will love the work ethic that Zach Hyman brings to the team and we will see him have a career year with 30 goals. Nugent-Hopkins and Puljujarvi will be 20 goal scorers while McDavid and Draisaitl finish 1st and 2nd in league scoring. Darnell Nurse will have a powerhouse season and officially establish his name in the top 5 NHL D-men (but miss out as a Norris trophy finalist this season).
The Oilers will start the post season with home ice advantage and this is when the fans will really start to appreciate the Duncan Keith trade. His playoff experience and success will help lead the Oilers to the Western conference final against the Colorado Avalanche in a series where the best goalie wins a chance at the Stanley Cup.
Clint Frazier – 9910, Sister Suzie, Shout Out Out Out Out
I think that 2021-2022 is the year where the Oilers luck changes (finally). I don’t expect them to win Lord Stanley, but I do expect them to make it to game 6 of the Western Conference final. This is Colorado’s year to win it all I’m afraid.
Puljujarvi will have 30+ goals. Nurse will be in the Norris conversation, but won’t be nominated. Koskinen Will have a bounce back year before he bounces to another team.
The pacific division will be
1) Oilers
2) Canucks
3) Las Vegas
I really think getting rid of Fleury really hurts them. I think Lehner is a little too volatile on social media to carry the team.
Chris Sturwold – Ayla Brook & The Sound Men
The team is trending up, up, and away. And I think we’re going to be close. Like, 2006 close. My crystal ball is fuzzy on the finish, though.
Who does well: Ken Holland. Our first rounder will be used to get a true bonafide 1A goaltender. Oilers PP may set all time records this year, as I believe more calls will go our way and the PP will be on par with the league average for chances. Nuge will have a year this year. Book it.
Who doesn’t do well: Dave Tippett. This will open the door for Jay Woodcroft to come up and lead the big squad. It’s time. In fact, I’m writing this to help will it.
Where will we finish: 1st in the division. And we will be present in the conference final. The Cup final is always up for grabs, but if we can land the coveted goalie, our chances increase 10 fold.
And only because it bears repeating, JAY WOODCROFT NEEDS TO BE THE NEXT HEAD COACH OF THIS HOCKEY TEAM. FULL. STOP.
Thanks for your time.
Robb McLennan – Troubled Monk Brewery
5 predictions for the season:
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The healthy Oilers will have six 20 goal scorers.
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The miracle vaccine powers a healthy Keith to a bounceback season.
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A healthy Puljujarvi becomes a breakout superstar leading to players across the NHL searching for their own bison.
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A healthy Perlini makes us all forget the name Josh Archibald
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And finally, the first sign of an unhealthy or exhausted Mike Smith leads to a massive trade for a legit #1 between the pipes.
Drop the damn puck!
Greg Pack – Celebrity Local Sound Guy
After the shit-tacular officiating in the playoffs soured me on hockey, I find myself super jacked for this season. The exhibition games kinda had a different feeling than years past, yanno?
I love the additions (and subtractions) up front. Hyman, McLovin and freaking Perlini look to be exactly what we need to take the next step. The backend is a bit of a question mark, not sold on the Keith/Ceci pairing, but that can be sorted by the deadline. Goaltending, I’ll state the obvs – Need a number one with term before spring.
That all said, I think the Oils finish first in their division and make it 3 rounds, before losing to Colorado. Avs win the Cup.
Tony Bao – Alberta Music, Winterruption YEG Festival
Two seasons ago, I had a real grim outlook on this team. For some reason, I’m a bit more hopeful this year. I think the McDavid, Draisaitl, and Hyman line will dominate the league this season, and the team is going to show some depth. With that said, I still think the depth will only go as far as the first 2.5 lines, but I’m trying to stay optimistic about that.
From a non-hockey standpoint, I predicted that Jesse Puljujarvi would become a fan favourite in Edmonton back in the 2016 season – I guess I was ahead of the curve on that one.
Quick hits:
– The team will play above .500 all season
– We’ll make the playoffs and exit in round 2
– There will be an unprecedented amount of “FUCKS” used in this years’ In the Box column
Brent Oliver
Going to two pre-season games this year should tell all our readers just how excited I am about this year’s edition of the Edmonton Oilers. As for how they’ll do, I’m cautiously optimistic. We’ve seen in the last couple years that the Oilers having the two best players in the league and on the same line hasn’t meant jack fucking squat when it comes to winning in the playoffs. Darnell Nurse continues to develop into one of the best two-way defensemen in the league, but the subtraction of Bear and Larsson and the addition of Duncan Keith will leave me screaming about lack of depth on D – as usual. Koskinen playing well (at least in the preseason) and Smith on a new deal should be a semi-solid NHL goaltending combo, but even they can’t overcome the lack of a stay at home defenseman.
That all being said – I predict the Oilers to make the playoffs and at least win their first round.
Bold. I know.
Here we go again – the Season kicks off tonight at 8pm against the scourge of the Pacific, the Vancouver Canucks. Can the Oilers start the season off right or are we already planning to bitch and moan all year about how this team will never be contenders because of coaching, leadership, goaltending, defence, secondary scoring or the ugly and deeply scary Hunter the mascot? Maybe we’ll just bitch and moan regardless. Saves time.
See you next time – In the Box.
