HOCKEY: In the Box with Brent & Craig
We’ll Always Have Ottawa
Three straight wins (well actually, eight!) against the lowly Sens was good for exactly what ailed the Oil this week, then a loss on HNIC (shocking) against the godless Canucks to piss everyone off. Can Craig and Brent see a silver lining moving forward with ZERO more games against the Sens? Are the Oilers for real, or in real trouble?
Well – let’s see, shall we?
Craig Douglas
March 8
Oilers 3 Senators 2
The first goal of the game, on the first shot of the game, certainly not for the first time. That’s probably not the way they envisioned this game going, and certainly not the way I predicsh’ed it, but a regulation win against a divisional opponent is something you’ll take every time. Speaking of the first shot of the game, what the fuck? Why are they always so bloody unprepared for something that everyone knows is coming? I don’t want to pick on Koskinen (not to say that he doesn’t deserve it) nor do I wish to advocate for the firing of Dustin Schwartz, but can they maybe hire Dominik Hasek as a ‘First Shot of the Game Specialist’? His role could mostly involve him glaring like a motherfucker at the starting netminder each night before they head out onto the ice for the anthem. It could be money well spent that wouldn’t count against the cap, and my research seems to indicate that Hasek isn’t overly busy these days. It may or may not fix the problem, but it couldn’t really make things any worse, because it is fucking nonsense that this keeps happening.
Anyhow… other than the fact that they let the shitty but improving Senators stay in the game the whole time, this was mostly a positive outcome. The goaltending improved as the game went on, the stars continued to shine, with the usual suspects such as McD, Drai, and Nurse all looking like the all-stars that they are, and even Turris poked his nose out of the doghouse for a breath of fresh air. The Oil dominated in most of the ways one would hope they would against an inferior opponent, outshooting the Sens and winning the majority of the face offs, while also having the better special teams result. It’s a mildly encouraging effort that is, as always, tempered by the fact that it came against a team that has more points than only Buffalo, New Jersey, and Detroit.
Brent Oliver
March 10
Oilers 7 Senators 1
Poor Ottawa. Besides being extremely terrible in this game, they left poor Matt Murray (who used to be good) in for all 6 goals because he’s a vetern or something? Does that make any sense?
The Oilers stormed the 1st period relentlessly, finishing the frame with a 4-0 lead and nothing really to worry about. The Sens broke the shutout late in the game but after being up 7-0, who cares. The Sens are bad, or the Oilers have their number. Either way, thanks jerks.
While we move forward to another game against the Sens, let’s enjoy the ride – or at least the mowing down of the Sens over and over again.
Craig Douglas
March 12
Oilers 6 Senators 2
It was definitely nice to see the Oilers giving someone else a taste of their own rancid brand of medicine, seeing the whole ‘allow the first goal on the first shot of the game’ trend go the other way within the first ten seconds. That was as refreshing as it was unexpected. Sure, the exciting early lead was erased less than three minutes later, but the sense of dread was gone, and only the most pessimistic of fans weren’t still predicting a victory. Speaking of predicting, how about me calling for a 7-2 victory in the previous game? Ottawa is so shitty they could only manage to make it a 7-1 score, but still, considering how wildly wrong most of my predictions are, I’m choosing to point out this one instance where I was almost bang on.
While two points is always a welcome result, these games come with the usual caveat of being against the lowly Sens. There were plenty of positives to gnaw on, like getting a solid effort from the goalie, a couple of goals from the defensemen, another couple of goals via the bottom six forwards, and the usual outshot, outworked and outmuscled superlatives, but it was all against a team so shitty that they have played five more games than Buffalo with only three more points to show for it. The Senators are a very lousy team and beating them causes a reaction like ‘Yup, seems about right’. Time to move on and attempt to win some games against some slightly more challenging opponents, that’s about all there is to say about this series against that terrible team.
Brent Oliver
March 13
Canucks 2 Oilers 1
Uh oh – this team isn’t the Senators! And it’s on the dreaded Hockey night in Canada! Christ! Shit! ShitChrist!
Vancouver opened the scoring getting one past Koskinen, which he probably should have had… which is so typically Koskinen. Drai continued his hot streak scoring and tying up the game in the 2nd leaving a tied game going into the 3rd, and the super uneasy feeling in my stomach that wasn’t the chicken sandwich I had for dinner. Right on fucking cue – the Canucks scored with plenty of time left for the Oilers to tie it. But they didn’t.. because of course they didn’t. I’m back to remembering that the Oilers are not as good as they are whenever they play Ottawa. This coming week will be the tell tale week for the team as they have games against the Flames and Jets – division rivals who can actually hold their own.
If they only win one in this next week, we’re in real trouble.
Craig Douglas
The Connor McDavid Player Of The Week Award Brought To You By Humpty’s
With 2G and 5A over the four games, the McDavid award once again goes to McDavid. It’s going to be a good week the next time some other Oiler wrests this award away from the captain.
Predicsh Brought To You By Huge Ford Trucks
03/15 at Calgary – The winning streak comes to an end as the Bastards of Southern Alberta come out well rested and put some pucks in the net. Final score: Bastards 5 Oilers 3
03/17 at Calgary – The Oil order up a slice of sweet revenge against their rivals, really putting the boots to them like they did on HNIC like they did last month. Final score: Oilers 6 Bastards 3
03/18 vs Winnipeg – The Oil return home and look to get another winning streak going against an ever improving Jets squad. They do just that in one of the more thrilling games of the season. Final score: Oilers 4 Jets 3
03/20 vs Winnipeg – The winning streak stops at two this time as Winnipeg serves up their best effort and manages to split this mini series. Hellebuyck shows us why he’s currently the best goalie going. Final score Jets 3 Oilers 1.
Two against the Flames, two against the Jets with major jockeying for position up for grabs in the North Division. Can the Oilers prove that they can be an above .500 team against teams not named the Senators, or do we all need to petition the league for 8 more games against our national capital? I for one encourage the latter.
See you next time – In the Box.
