HOCKEY: In the Box with Brent & Craig
Omicron & On & On
Happy 2022, everyone. Did you know the world’s on fire and it’s tough to think about hockey? So many cancelled and rescheduled games. So many Covid protocols. So few fans. So many losses by the Edmonton Oilers.
What can be done? Brent & Craig likely have some answers, and likely don’t have answers for other things.
Let’s see what’s shakin in this edition of In The Box, brought to you by Home & Away YEG – opening soon in the old Mercer Tavern location.
Brent Oliver
It’s been a while since we last talked. I’ll try and recap this quickly for everyone.
On December 16 & 18th the Oilers beat Columbus and Seattle respectively, and the Omicron variant began a 1st period surge in Covid’s best of 13 wave Pandemic Cup Final.
Everything shut down over Christmas with the Oilers returning Dec 29 to lose, then lose again, and again, and again & again. Then Omicron said to itself “fuck this. I’m garbage and like to wreak havoc on people’s lives – and an Oilers fan!” and shut down the last two games. There’s currently a “scheduled” game this Saturday against Ottawa, but with numbers exploding through the roof – it’s tough to think we get anything other than the occasional game with no occasional fans any time soon.
In the meantime, I guess we have to talk about how the Oilers fucking suck right now and there’s plenty of reasons why they do. Primarily the following:
Coaching
When I think I can do a better job coaching this team, things are bad. Like, really bad. Tippett seems to be making bizarre roster choices based on his crush on Ryan MacLeod, and other shit players playing with our really good players, who aren’t playing very good. I know it’s always the coach’s fault, and you can’t fire the players – but I would be shocked if Tippet made it to the end of the season, much less the end of this month.
Goaltending
This piece of shit loaf stinks. Stinks bad. Smith is old and broken. Koskinen is back to being Koskinen after not being Koskinen earlier in the season. We need a goalie and there’s a few out there I would be willing to trade for that won’t let in early goals making the rest of the team play from behind the rest of every fucking game.
Everyone else
The top 6 have been dogshit. Yes, Drai has a couple goals, but Connor has either been neutralized, or has no jump in his game – depending on the situation. The bottom six have chipped in with the occasional goal by Perlinni and others, but come the fuck on – these guys should not be carrying a team. And everyone shut the fuck up about picking up Evander Kane. That’s nonsense and you know it.
Finally, does anyone have any desire to watch this team these days? I’m finding it harder and harder to care about lacklustre efforts, the state of the world and the fact that unlike earlier this year (Remember October guyz?!!) they were never out of a game. At this point, it seems every opponent is never out of coming from behind to beat the Oilers.
Craig Douglas
Ah yes, the glorious days of October … when the Oilers were maybe good and the season was maybe real. Now we’re well on our way to a third consecutive fake as fuck NHL season, but great news if you’re a fan of the Tampa Bay Lightnings since it looks like they’re headed towards a third consecutive fake as fuck Stanley Cup victory. If they pull off the back to back to back, I’ll get us shirts that proclaim them three time back to back to back fake (as fuck) Stanley Cup Champions. Their fake victory number one in the bubble was bad enough, then came the ridiculous 56 game season with fake divisions and a fake salary cap, and now we’re being subjected to whatever the fuck this is – a colossal mess where some teams are missing half of their players but what the hell let’s count it in the standings like it’s a normal game. Uh, okay sure, let’s do that. Let’s also postpone dozens (hundreds?) of games and maybe play them during the vacated Olympic break.
Uh, okay sure, let’s do that.
I’m being told I have to write more about the Oilers. Fuck me.
Coaching
Blech. Tippet sucks, but so does constantly firing the coach. I don’t see a reasonable replacement out there who would be any better, but the Oiler malaise runs real deep with me these days, so I don’t know, fire his ass, don’t fire his ass. I can’t be arsed enough to care anymore.
Goaltending
Holy fuck, don’t get me started. I can’t really watch anymore these days, and goaltending is the main reason why. (Luckily all the games are postponed, so it’s not really a problem.) Fucking Smith is very old and very broken and he’s also very signed for one more season – fucking insanity, that. Koskinen was always Koskinen, even when he fluked off a few wins back when this season wasn’t so fake. He’s utterly terrible and overpaid by at least 2-3M dollars (which is one hundred percent fucking Chia’s fucking fault and not Koskinen’s, but I’m still allowed to complain about it, and complain about it I shall) The dude sucks so bad and I can’t watch his bumbling bullshit anymore. Just play Skinner every game and see what happens. It can’t be worse and it would certainly be less demoralizing for the coach, the players, and us fans.
Everyone else
They all suck. If anyone needs me I’ll be watching the Florida Panthers game.
The Connor McDavid Player Of The Week Award
Omicron. That kid’s hustle is infectious.
Predicsh
01/15 vs Ottawa – Will this game even happen?
01/20 vs Florida – Or this one?
Well, this is going awesome, isn’t it?
See you next week (maybe?) – In The Box.
